I know what I am getting myself into, I have done it all before, right? This is my second pregnancy and knowing what is to come both reassures and scares me in equal measure. Here are the 5 main reasons why.
I know my/our parenting limits.
With #1 I cried just twice, both were because I had set myself high expectations, both involved a screw driver. The first time was when I couldn’t fit the metal pole into the snuz pod and the second time was when my husband and I tried to put together the swing chair and couldn’t agree which way the base clipped together “How can we raise a child when we can’t even build it a seat?” I wailed unconsolably. This time around we haven’t even discussed looking in the loft let alone picked up a screw driver.
I know what child birth is like.
Baby number 2 is “due” in 2 weeks time, after being 10 days overdue last time, I pay about as much attention to my due date as Stephen Hawking does to his horoscope. For some mums knowing what labour is like is empowering and makes them feel more fulfilled as a woman. Well good for them, what I like to call smug bitches. As for the rest of us we know what’s coming and we are bracing ourselves from the start of the 3rd trimester. It’s like imagining what a kick in the balls feels like compared to having being kicked in them once already. Clearly I don’t have balls, I can imagine it isn’t a pleasant experience but the thought of this causes my husband to break out into a cold sweat and protectively cup his at the mere suggestion of it. Just in case anyone is concerned for his well being, I am using this as an analogy not a threat or witty anecdote. If I protectively cupped my vagina every time some do-gooder said “Ooh not long now” I would spend more time with my hands down my pants this month than Joachim Low.
I know what new borns are like.
With a toddler already in the house, we discuss the imminent arrival of the baby less like the coming of the Messiah and more like a planning meeting ahead of a dinner for Chinese diplomats at Buckingham palace with Prince Philip in attendance. Its bound to go wrong but the invitation was sent out so we have to go through with it. The best we can hope for is an agreement for a peaceful co-existence. I lie awake thinking will #1 take to #2? How am I meant to feed #2 and meet all of the demands of #1? What if #2 wakes #1, shall we put #2 in the attic room? Its then that it dawns on me just how under #1’s command we are these days.
I know what sleepless nights entail.
During the first pregnancy I didn’t really think too deeply about “Those long sleepless nights” that people warned us about. Now lack of sleep engenders a more imminent fear than Brexit, global warming and terrorist attacks combined. To put it mildly i’m dreading it. Other mums who have gone before me and had 2 under 2 tell me that you don’t really notice the lack of sleep with the 2nd baby because you never really got used to having sleep again after the first. Great.
I know what I am doing?
At my most positive I have confidence in my ability to raise a child, the current one seems to be well adjusted and normal (ish). At worst I fear that I have been lucky and have totally forgotten how to look after a newborn. These anxieties usually surface at 4am and are cured by quickly checking Mumsnet still has plenty of unfounded opinions on all aspects of keeping babies alive. Concern is quickly replaced by irritation at the overuse of “hon” and poor grammar before I smugly fall back to sleep.
Wish me luck. X